Someone who was very dear to me as a child and a mentor to me as a young parent passed away this weekend.
That person who I adored and trusted turned their back to me a few years back when I met and proclaimed love for my now wife.
It broke my heart.
I had to make a choice, to be part of a family or to make my own. I made my own.
We never again spoke again.
Never apologized.
Never said goodbye.
She passed with bad blood between us and it can’t be undone.
Hearts won’t be mended. Debts won’t be paid.
Words will never be said.
It is too late to be sad and I am too sad to be mad. I had hope that one day the truth would be as bright and clear as a fresh new morning.
That day never came.
The day will never come that she will see I am the same I ever was, maybe better for being truly loved.
I wish she would have known the truth. I wish she had met my one.
I wish I could have whispered final words:
Don’t let ignorance blind you.
Don’t let hate survive you.
I hope she found the truth finally. I hope she understood. I hope she found peace.
I hope that I can find mine.
My Idiotic Bliss 
Beautifully written truths. She never stopped loving you, trust me on this. Her “beliefs” conflicted with your “beliefs”, and because of that, words were silenced, emotions locked away, and paths separated. Who we are on earth are not who we will be after death, and YES, I believe she sees everything now. It’s never too late to speak those unspoken words, she will hear you. And I can’t explain how, but you will know she heard you.
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I grieve publicly with bouts of private tears. Special thanks to my love for the encouragement to “let it out” and for reminding me I am not alone when the world feels so utterly lonely.
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