Tag: love letter

Another lesbian love letter … happy birthday my love

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My one, my truth, my reason for idiotic bliss. I cherish this, your birthday as I have the others who have come before with as much awe and honor as I ever have.

You never cease to amaze me as we grow older, year by year and side by side.

The first birthday we shared I brought you the wrong gift but with all the right intention. You were so sweet about it all, I was embarrassed but glad to be with you.

My crush weighed so heavily on my brain I could barely remember to wrap your gifts.

Since your last birthday we never spent a night alone. You were next to me for cake and ice cream, for laughing until we cried and for beer on beaches. For every sweet moment in between.

My crush still weighs heavily and at times I can barely speak.

Sometimes it is all I can do, I stare in wonder and amazement that you are here with me. No miles to distance us. No goodbye need ever be long.

I am honored to spend this day, the birthdays previous and the days to come celebrating you. Your laugh and your smile. Your kindness and your generosity. Your strength and your courage. I admire you.

I am in awe of your ability to tackle anything that comes our way with strength and wisdom. You surprise me each passing year with your passion and commitment to our little family. I am moved by your beautiful gaze and am transported by your touch.

 

 

My pride, my lover, my best friend and my destiny. I have never been more grateful to be in your company.

Happy 41st my love, my gorgeous. My darling wife.

I adore you more than words will ever say.

 

 

 

A wedding day love letter, on the 3rd year anniversary. 

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3 years ago I wrote and sent an email to my soon to be legally wed wife. It was an emotional and exciting time and the biggest day of our life together to date. 

As we celebrate this anniversary I wanted to share that originsl very personal email here. I do so with her blessing. 

Enjoy. 

        

We are getting married …. today. Not tomorrow or next week. Today.

I was not sure this day would ever make it here or that we would be ready when it did. Over the last few days as we patiently (and equally at times, not so patiently) watched the countdown timer tick away, I tried to think of the perfect wedding gift. I thought of a million things but nothing seemed right until I went back, all the way back to our beginning.

Do you remember how we started? It was an email, simple words typed and delivered digitally but neither of us could have know what was actually taking place.

It was never just words, never just an email, and neither is this one.

I decided to write you an email for your wedding gift, I know what you are thinking, that you didn’t get me a gift. The truth is you did, I have you, a lifetime with you is the greatest gift I could imagine. You are my whole world. I hope this reaches you with as much joy and surprise as the first one did.

I hope that every message you ever get makes you smile but this one especially I want to be like the first. All the anticipation, the joy, the flips in your belly, all the wonders of sweet enchantment.

Everyday is another chance to make sure you know how much I love you, adore you, need and want you. I don’t want a single day to pass in our marriage that I don’t remind you. Starting with the first.

I am not sure what I would do without you, I don’t want to know a life without you in it. So when we say our vows later today, know that I mean every word of them. Take it all in, just like you did in the beginning. Let your mind replay them over and over just like we read each others emails and texts … over and over again. You are truly my best friend, the perfect lover and the person I want to share idiotic bliss.

I can not wait to call you my wife.

With all my love,

~Cat

In a world full of strangers

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Everything you have read from me has been hilarious.

Fine, it was at least funny in parts.

I try to be light hearted as much as possible. No matter what. Anything to make the next day better. Sarcasm helps.

Some days though … there is no strength left for better.

Some days it just feels like I’m dragging around a body. Just posing my limbs throughout the day like a stylish department store clothing display. Moving my mouth to form words in such a way that to call it interacting with society would be a generous stretch.

I’m in autopilot and I’m surrounded by strangers. Overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, dramatically desperate.

I left the doctor today with strange news. There is a major malfunction in my body but it is fixable. Correctable once the source of the problem has been diagnosed. Probably. Hopefully.

Great news, right? No.

I like to be in control. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. I am great at being in control. I mean it’s not like I land airplanes for a living but I direct and reflect trouble like a boss.

Except now. Right now I am all alone. I am broken. I don’t want to share the pits of my despair with anyone in particular. I don’t want to pour my story onto a white page to be discovered by strangers.

Actually. Yes. Yes, I do. I want to share my story. It’s not always witty and entertaining. Sometimes it’s sad and raw and real.

The entirety of the situation is rather embarrassing really.

That makes me sad.
Or mad.
Not gangster style mad though … more like blogger mad. Instead of roughing up the rivals I will take to my blog and punch the keys with intent. That’s right, the sound of my typing can probably be heard from outside the house.
I’m an angry typer.

It’s been a tough couple weeks. I have not blogged purposely because I didn’t want to share sad. Sad isn’t witty or funny or entertaining. It’s just … sad.

Not very long ago I watched my children walk with contained excitement onto an airplane destined for the other side of the country. To be delivered to the other half of their parental unit. They couldn’t wait to find their seats and I panicked when I lost sight down the airplane corridor.

I cried on the way home.
I lost control.

I will miss them. They are gone for a few more weeks. If they need me I won’t be there. I don’t know what to do with that. How do parents do this? Why is this a thing?

Yes, they are safe.
Yes, they are healthy and happy and having a blast.
Yes, I’m still crying.
So what.

Also entirely out of my control?

My marriage. My beautiful, amazing, brag worthy and public love letter inspiring union.
What could be so bad about that? My fairy tale is made of regular everyday normal people, that’s what. People who sometimes reach a crossroads. I have no control over the depths of my love and just the same seemingly no control over the limits of human patience. My carriage may have turned into a pumpkin. No fairy godmother, just humble pie. Good thing I still believe in happy endings.

Sometimes you just want to go where nobody knows your name. Where you are surrounded by strangers. Where you only need to be in control of you.

I need to be reminded that the world still turns, the sun still rises and the moon will still beckon to the lost souls. Even if I get lost in the crowd. Even if I get lost and have to relinquish my control.

Sometimes I just need to be in a world full of strangers.
with my humble pie.
a glass of wine would be great too.

a not so private love letter

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Once in a while things go perfectly right and you thank your lucky stars. Everything just falls into place so perfectly and you just know it couldn’t get any better.

Yeah, that has never happened to me. I do thank my lucky stars though for 2nd chances.

Or 3rd. But who’s counting anyway.

The point is right now I really don’t know if things could get better for my deepest sincere desire to love and be loved. I want to shout from the rooftop or write in the sky. I want to let the world know what she already does.

I am ridiculously, head over heels, shamelessly in love.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not reminded of my own feelings. Even on our darkest days I can’t deny that I have never in my life had someone give me butterflies, even now, like I experienced day one with her.

There was a time I was absurdly sure we were not going to make it. I was broken in a way I have never felt. It didn’t take me long to realize that inability to walk away was the truest, most honest form of love. It was brutal.

We worked hard to work it out and I realized that I never wanted to let her go. I knew then that nothing would ever be stronger than we could be, together. I knew even in my bravest moment I am that much stronger with her at my side.

I was sure I had fallen in love a million times, it’s who I am.

I never knew though that real, true lasting love is a secret combination.

It’s not something for now, it’s not just a trend. It can not be defined in words and it changes as we grow. I have tried to figure it out, how it is that this feels so different. The recipe is still in the works. I know this for sure though; you need laughter, honesty, respect, patience, understanding and a healthy dose of lust for good measure.

I am incredibly lucky to have found this with her. Incredibly grateful she chose me, that she chose us.

She is my one. She is every love song ever played, every poem ever read and every promise ever whispered.

She is my idiotic bliss and I am forever grateful.