Tag: wedding

A wedding day love letter, on the 3rd year anniversary. 

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3 years ago I wrote and sent an email to my soon to be legally wed wife. It was an emotional and exciting time and the biggest day of our life together to date. 

As we celebrate this anniversary I wanted to share that originsl very personal email here. I do so with her blessing. 

Enjoy. 

        

We are getting married …. today. Not tomorrow or next week. Today.

I was not sure this day would ever make it here or that we would be ready when it did. Over the last few days as we patiently (and equally at times, not so patiently) watched the countdown timer tick away, I tried to think of the perfect wedding gift. I thought of a million things but nothing seemed right until I went back, all the way back to our beginning.

Do you remember how we started? It was an email, simple words typed and delivered digitally but neither of us could have know what was actually taking place.

It was never just words, never just an email, and neither is this one.

I decided to write you an email for your wedding gift, I know what you are thinking, that you didn’t get me a gift. The truth is you did, I have you, a lifetime with you is the greatest gift I could imagine. You are my whole world. I hope this reaches you with as much joy and surprise as the first one did.

I hope that every message you ever get makes you smile but this one especially I want to be like the first. All the anticipation, the joy, the flips in your belly, all the wonders of sweet enchantment.

Everyday is another chance to make sure you know how much I love you, adore you, need and want you. I don’t want a single day to pass in our marriage that I don’t remind you. Starting with the first.

I am not sure what I would do without you, I don’t want to know a life without you in it. So when we say our vows later today, know that I mean every word of them. Take it all in, just like you did in the beginning. Let your mind replay them over and over just like we read each others emails and texts … over and over again. You are truly my best friend, the perfect lover and the person I want to share idiotic bliss.

I can not wait to call you my wife.

With all my love,

~Cat

Legally wed (almost) a year. Here is the recap …

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It was this time last year that our home state made our marriage legal. We were so excited, it was like a second wedding day. Sorta like that … but without rain, stress, arguments or blisters. Good times.

So in the spirit of a (sort of) one year wedding anniversary I compiled the top 10 best of best things that happened this last year, our first full year of being legally married in our home state.

  1. We survived new car envy. She bought I convertible, I got jealous. We now share our vehicles. Whats mine is mine. What is yours is now mine too. I’m pretty sure it was in the vows.96a9c5c0cecad209aedb00bb45a2dffa
  2. The kids went away for the summer and we managed to focus a little time on us. Every relationship needs a little space alone to develop. Ours developed into missing the kids after a couple month extended honeymoon. Whatever works.Summer-of-Love
  3. We went to the beach, several times. There is nothing like feeling the sand between your toes. Or the sand hitting you in the face as it swirls around the car, coming off your beach gear. That’s what happens when you shove the sandy gear into the back of that super cute, top down convertible you HAD to take for the trip.  11137193_1011165278894072_8677361988249007150_n
  4. We watched fireworks for the 4th, from our mountain spot, all by ourselves. It was kinda romantic and super beautiful. The other fireworks throughout the year on the mountain, likely scaring the neighbors into calling for backup, maybe not so much romantic as horrifying. We are trying to keep our arguments to ourselves now. Sorry y’all. 11403087_1036972702979996_7696834849185982622_n
  5. We learned to budget. Just kidding, no we didn’t. We bought a new car and went to the beach a few times. We can’t seem to save any money. I have no idea why. Saving Money
  6. She learned to cook. Well, not really cook, but she can grill like nobody’s business. Thinking about our 1 year anniversary steak dinner she magically produced is making me hungry, 3 months later. sunset-2
  7. I changed my last time to hers. Finally. She ran out and changed the name on the mailbox … I am still learning to sign it. Or to recolonize it when called. fa38b4ca80e150dc2a1e9445abc452b4
  8. We made new friends. Together. Couple friends. That isn’t easy considering we are so different. It is almost like getting a raise, the one you don’t think it will ever happen. All of a sudden you are eating more than soup from a can, in your one room apartment, while talking to your cat before bedtime at 8pm. It’s a big wide world out there when you have couple friends to go explore it with. friends_cast_004a
  9. We found new things to explore together. Places to go, things to do, food to eat and fancy new beer to try. Again, a big deal because when we first met we didn’t have much more in common than mutual lust. No shame. None. 3190410_13213875_lz
  10. Last but certainly most important: Nobody was seriously injured or died. I’m not kidding, it was a close call a few times. Marriage is hard, apparently so is smothering your beloved with a pillow. wpid-wp-1432838209051.jpeg

Don’t be an asshole in the name of your religion

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You’ve probably seen the recent headlines. You can’t go a day without hearing about it. Voices on both sides shouting to be heard.

I’m talking about religious freedom.

I get it, I really do.

If we are talking about freedom in the purest form I am a big supporter. You do your thing and I will do mine. No harm, no foul.

However, where is the line where one humans rights stop and another’s continue?

How does one determine where a person’s beliefs start and another’s should end when there comes a difference in the name of religious standing?

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The law separates church and state. It is one of the things I love and appreciate about my country. It’s right next to ridiculous holidays l get to take off work. 

With this in mind, should elected officials, who work for the people, not be held to the same standard? Why should current elected officials, those serving the state where elected, cite religion as a reason to not serve tax paying citizens equally? 

Case in point:

The County Clerk in Kentucky who is currently behind bars for refusing to comply with the law. She, along with her staff, were refusing to give marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Refused.

Despite being told to comply or suffer legal consequences.

Her office refused to issue licenses solely on religious premise. Not for any legal or arguably reasonable fact.

Consenting aged, not otherwise legally entwined, unrelated, and of sound mind adults were denied marriage licences. Based on someone’s interpretation of religion and moral code. This seems the only moral high jinks I see going on.

The only real problem is that committed, matrimonial minded adults were denied their basic rights.

It was not so long ago that multiracial marriages were against the law. Seems ridiculous now. Yet what is happening here does not seem at all ludicrous for an obnoxious percent of the population.

The law is the law. It’s pretty clear. Black, white, gay, straight, hot or ehhh … not. Still. All equal.

Couples, according to US law may be married if they choose. 

Anywhere they choose. 

In any state they may reside, visit or find themselves otherwise geographically located at the time they deem their significant other worthy of a lifetime commitment.

Let’s just say for argument’s sake that I, a representative of a corporation, in charge of customer relations, decide that I shall no longer offer service to those customers which offend my religious beliefs.

*For the record, I am only offended by people who punish others in the name of religion.

Let’s say I refuse to allow services, which are clearly outlined by my company policy, to those I deem unworthy. My fancy desk and beautiful view would be parted faster than a  gentleman’s dollar bills on his first strip club visit.

That is how it is.

It’s basic decency to not be an asshole but more it’s the law, the rule, the policy. We as society live by them even if we don’t feel like it some days.

Sure you can get away with a little eyebrow raising behavior. Like speeding on a quiet country road. Or offering a little extra discount to people who you have common interests (where my gays at?!)

A little bout of shenanigans is the spice of life.

Ruining someone elses in the name of (insert your religion here) is absolutely not.

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I’m not one who is going to start spitting bible versus but isn’t there a little something about love and acceptance in there? Maybe a little something about not judging others? How about just plain not living your life being an asshole to others?

If you absolutely must be cruel based on your “religion” then maybe, possibly, you could manage to not hold an elected government position.

1st anniversary, that’s paper right?

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It’s almost that time!

Remember the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland freaking out about the time? Yeah. Put that bunny in a red curly wig and a sundress and that’s me.

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Just add a red curly hair.

It’s almost our first anniversary.

Seriously.

One whole year since we became wife and wife.

A whole freaking year of ups and downs and all arounds. We danced around the “for richer or poorer” and all those traditional vows whether we said them or not. It hasn’t been easy but it has gone fast and if I could do it all over again I would. Except slower, and I would have started blogging about way sooner. All the good and the bad and unbelievable love.

All the things marriage is. It all came around in our very first year.

Now it’s time we celebrate that we lasted this long. It’s just an anniversary but it’s a big one. People will be cashing in on the bets they placed 12 months ago kinda big. Giggle if you will, the odds for a big payout were probably great if we made it. We love hard and we fight like someone will have to stop breathing before it can be over. Ok, not really, but it has been close.

She will be expecting something super romantic and I will be expecting something sweet and heart-felt. What neither of us is expecting is to run out of time and it’s ticking on.

We never do anything small. If you have followed my blog to date you may have glimpsed what married life is like on the inside. Gift giving is a major task. We go big around here.

I’ve requested the advice of co-workers and I’ve googled “first anniversary” and nothing jumped out. Just paper stuff. Sometimes really expensive paper stuff. I am all about some sentimental names on canvas but that isn’t her and therefor isn’t us. Tricky territory. This anniversary thing is almost worse than the ridiculous wedding markup. If it says wedding or anniversary you’re going to pay triple. True story.

I tried to search “first gay anniversary” thinking that might bring me to something unique but personable but still nothing. Well nothing G rated and appropriate for sharing. I did get some ideas though. We will see what she thinks after I present her the anniversary gift of all gifts. If she hates it I will keep those search results for a plan B. Always good to have a plan B.
kpbktick tock tick tock … running out of time.

and ideas.

running out of what little sanity I was holding onto.

I can’t get a re-do on the very first celebratory year of marriage. It almost feels like getting married again. I’m so nervous. Not “what if I don’t fit in my wedding dress” nervous. I can still eat pizza. The kind of nervous that compels me to wonder what happens if this doesn’t turn out as beautiful and magical as I planned. That kind of nervous.

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Time waster. I love it still.

I’ve looked at Pinterest and still nothing.  Unless I want to spend a day making paper dolls of each of us with materials I will need to hunt down in a craft store.

The problem is I am neither crafty nor patient enough for anything on Pinterest.

and it makes me hungry.

Has anyone ever actually browsed pins and not been bombarded by super fanciful flower adorned cupcakes and exotically named smoothie drinks? each served in cute mason jars sorted by size and color? sitting neatly on a handmade shelf of reclaimed wood?

Seriously.

I’ve got no time for funny pictures of kittens and recipes I will never make.

I need an idea. I need to get creative.

Maybe a giant glued together construction paper card with glitter and pop up hearts like a toddler’s first book about dinosaurs. That sounds like a lot of work though.

Back to the drawing board. By which I mean the internet.